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10 Cumbias: bestiario

A veces la cumbia te cuenta sobre la existencia de bestias, animales flasheros, y seres imaginarios, porque se harta un poco de vos y tus ganas de amar.

Salvaje

Amores como el nuestro – Los Charros

El otro día me puse contento porque encontraron un unicornio congelado en Siberia, pero onda que los unicornios posta eran hipopótamos pelilargos. Es como cuando te enterás de que las canciones que más te caben de Damas Gratis son covers. No llega a decepción pero te hace un poco de ruido, y te dan ganas de indagar más,  flashar asceta y esas cosas que dice tu tía que pasan en las novelas de Dan Brown.

“Como los unicornios, van desapareciendo”. Eso quiere decir que no están extintos y viven en comunidad cocainómana en un country de Nordelta.

Cumbia tiburón – El Retutu ft. Fideo

Rescatamos esto del arcón de los recuerdos.

Cada vez que veo al antiguo Retutu, me dan ganas de asaltar un local de la M dorada y ponerme a contar Big Macs en La Rosadita. No puedo verlo adelgazado, no. Estoy a favor de este megahitazo veraniego, pero en contra del progreso y la autosuperación.

Sangre de tigre – Onda Sabanera

Cumbia colombiana y de la buena. Seguro que no la venden en eventos corte Time Warp.

En este video aparecen muchos animalitos.

Espíritu chamánico y magia yorubiana en la historia de este cambiapieles.

Los pitufos – El Judas

Los azules bonaerenses que merodean el conurbano is the new “Yo me banqué la dictadura”. Podría insultar a los dos candidatos que el año pasado se disputaron el Balotrash, o ponerme a militar en “Más poesía menos policía” o en el MST, pero prefiero aplaudir al Judas por su narrativa social.

El lobizón – Antonio Rios

Cuando Nino Dolce estaba con síndrome de abstinencia en la casa de GH lo musicalizaban con el soundtrack de “Nazareno Cruz y El Lobo”.

“Sin temores buscaré entre las sombras de la noche un amor salvaje, peligroso, que me ate a su corazón guerrero para siempre”. Es El Maestro.

Alto flash:

KE

Me dicen La Pantera – Pocho La Pantera

1984, George Orwell. Más retro no puede ser; me sorprende que haya existido el mundo antes de que naciéramos nosotros.

Con su dicharachez habitual, Ernesto Aníbal Gauna revela por qué todo un planeta lo conoce por su segundo apodo. El primero, ya lo sabemos, es por Federico “Pocho” Insúa.

El hombre gato­ – Ricky Maravilla

El Hombre Gato es una bestia legendaria del conurbano sur. Ranchó en Ingeniero Budge, Lanús, Brandsen, Monte Grande, Ezeiza, Burzaco, Tristán Suarez, La Plata, Claypole, Calzada, Mármol, Wessex, Northumbria y más.

A fines de la década del noventa en mi barrio (Canning) se armó una patrulla antihombre gato, posta.

Es increíble la cobertura de Crónica:

Existe un documental bastante piola sobre el mito. Cuenta con testimonios de pueblerinos:

Todavía no sabemos si se trataba de una secta brasilera o de un desertor gede Sekhmet, la raza felina que pelea con los reptilianos por el control de la tierra.

La Araña Picúa – Lía Crucet

Canción escrita bajo los efectos del ácido. “Con rabo y con cuatro patas, tenía forma de cangrejo”. Si la escribe Lou Reed es catalogado de genio.

“Borrate araña atrevida, ayer asustaste a Lía”. Y así nos enteramos a qué le teme Crucet. Mujer bella y fuerte como pocas.

Los Dragones

Son los “Reyes de la Cumbia Sureña”.

En la tapa del disco Alta Joda está llena de dragones de la cabeza fumando porro y tomando vino:

Alta joda

En la tapa de Esto es vida está lleno de pokemones fisuras ranchando en una plaza:

Esto es vida

Todavía no usaron para su estética oficial a los dragones de GOT, o a los de Tolkien, o a la obra porno de Ciruelo.

Me llaman el León – Leo Mattioli

Leo destila cachocastañismo por doquier en esta rola bien santafesina que no llega al minuto y medio.

Es la que cierra “Amor a mi manera” (2007). O sea, el tiro de gracia para adentrarse en tu cama.

Bonus track:

La burrita – Los Wawanco

Pintó la típica autorreferencialidad de medio indie y nos hacemos cargo de nuestro nombre bestial:

Sebastián Caraballo – Federico Durán

 

 

BURRA

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